It's Not Easy Being Green

The Atlanta climate was a balmy 100F with 100% humidity as I slogged across the Hertz lot to slot 138. There a tiny, green (the official color was probably something like “Organic, Free Range Avocado”) Toyota sat simmering on the asphalt griddle. I plopped my stuff into the back seat and climbed into a fairly new Prius. Closing the door transformed my vehicle into an instant, compact Japanese Hot House.

I've never driven a hybrid, and sat staring at the dashboard trying to figure out how to start it up. Gobs of sweat rolled off my nose as I desperately tried to lower the windows to no avail. Finally, I spotted a power button, which I depressed without obvious effect. Then I fastened my seat belt hoping that the safety gods simply wouldn't allow you turn this baby over without being properly secured. Still nothing.

I threw open the door, gasping for oxygen and noticed a Hertz attendant nearby. "Do you know how to start one of these things?"

He laughed and explained, "Put your foot on the brake and push the power button". I did as instructed and didn't detect any difference except that the LED display on the dash came to life. He continued, "It's on, but you can't tell because it's in battery mode. Just shift into drive and she'll go." Why didn't I think of that?

The shifter was a tiny handle protruding from the dashboard. It doesn't slip into gear, it's all digital and just delivers your intentions to the gear box. I nudged it into the 'D' direction and, off I went. Thankfully, the battery had enough juice to allow me to drop the driver's side window delivering a steady breeze of steamy air.

As I approached the highway, I decided to put the Air Conditioner to work. I scanned the usual locations for such controls and came up empty. Next, I took my eyes off the road to inspect less obvious spots. The center console? Nope. The Glove compartment? Well, no glove compartment, so no. The door? Uh uh. Wait, there it is... on the steering wheel. Of course!

Window up, a/c on, I cruised down the interstate at... 117 km/hr. Shoot! How fast is that? Where do I change that setting? I depressed a button called "Mode" which released a torrent of rap music into my rapidly chilling cockpit.

After several minutes of pacing myself to other cars on the highway, and with my fingers turning blue, I gave up and adopted the metric system for good. Now, how do I ease off of the air conditioner? I checked the rest of the perimeter of the Steering Wheel and found a temperature directional button. Before long, I defrosted and moved back to being overheated.

Up on the video display, the Prius was giving me a schematic which indicated the car's switch back and forth between battery and engine. This useless information seemed to show that the battery was about 60% charged. I must have drained it a bit during my voyage to Antarctica, because I wasn't powering anything else. Eventually, I figured out that the screen could be changed to "Climate" and "Audio". I touched these displays in the right places to get the temperature reasonable and the CD player working... but I was still doing 120 km or so. The little car was, indeed, miserly on gas consumption. But, I felt kind of conspicuous driving this green machine so fast, even though my exhaust no doubt smelled like cheap potpourri. Perhaps, I'd feel a little better if I dressed in a safari hat with a drawstring, multi-pocketed button down shirt, khaki shorts and Birkenstock sandals.